Common Questions or Statements

The Friendly Mortician #7

olpinstevensfuneralhome@gmail.com (Ryan ) — Mon, 03 Apr 2023 04:21:45 GMT

Importance of Funerals

After all the great responses I got from the blog that Michelle wrote, I may let her do another one. The mortuary was a little busier in March, and so I am a little late getting to this month’s blog. As you can see from the title, I’d like to discuss the importance of funerals. I’m sure most of you are thinking you already know that. But as a funeral director I hear a lot of statements from others that make me think otherwise.

These are just some statements I hear from others when discussing funerals plans. I have heard these multiple times from multiple people.

“When I die just take me out to the desert and let the coyotes take care of me”

I know when I hear this that they are just being funny, but I know they are saying this because they really don’t want others to worry about them when they die.

“I don’t want a viewing; I don’t want people to stare at me when I’m dead”

I’m usually thinking they have been to a viewing where the person didn’t look very good or they had a bad experience at a viewing and they don’t want others to feel the way they did. Hopefully wasn’t a service I did, I always to my best to make the person look as good as possible.

“Just cremate me and scatter me in the mountains”

I think this goes with the thought I just don’t want anyone to worry about me when I die.

“I don’t like viewings/funerals”

I don’t think anyone likes going to them. We go to support the family of the deceased and/or to help yourself deal with the loss. It’s not about looking at a dead body.

In most cases when I hear these statements I know they just don’t want people to worry about them or they think they are doing their friends or family a favor it making their death easier to deal with. Unfortunately, they are in many cases doing the complete opposite. My recommendation is to not take away from your family the opportunity to have a viewing or a funeral. The value in the funeral is to help get closure and help process the death. I personally don’t think you can put a monetary value on that. Even when my own grandfather died, he had a prepaid funeral plan and only paid for a cremation service. My family ended up upgrading to have a viewing and a funeral, but still had him cremated. My family knew they needed a funeral/viewing but still honored his wishes in having him cremated. I guess what I am trying to say is I know that is important to honor the deceased person wishes, but don’t let that take away from those that are left here to deal with their loss.

I continue to welcome any feedback good or bad.

The Friendly Mortician #6

Fri, 03 Mar 2023 21:20:56 GMT

So I Married a Mortician

Have you ever seen the 90’s movie with Mike Myers So I Married an Axe Murderer? It’s like that, only I really did marry a mortician!

Ryan decided to let me take a swing at this month’s blog when he got writer’s block. He said I could write about whatever I wanted, which is pretty gutsy of him, but I think I will stick to writing about our life and things from my perspective as the wife of a mortician.

A quick interesting, maybe funny little note about me; I am terrified of dying. Completely terrified. And I am married to a mortician. Go figure.

I should probably start at the beginning. I met Ryan when he was going to school for mortuary science in Cypress, California, which is where I’m from. I knew from the time we met that that is what he was going to school for. I read through one of his textbooks when we were dating and those textbooks are graphic and descriptive. So I had some small idea of what his work would entail. But thing with this career is that you really can’t know what it’s like until you’re in it, living it.

We moved to Mesquite, NV when Ryan graduated and that was my introduction to what I had gotten myself into. Life with a husband who is a funeral director is shall we say unique? Our life revolves around death. And this isn’t a regular 9-5 job; the phones ring at all hours of the day and night. Ryan can work 16 hour days and we won’t see him. We are pretty used to not making or having plans because we don’t know when work is coming. I have said that I wish God would send us a calendar just giving us some idea of when we might expect work and when we might be free to go on a trip, but I am still waiting on that. I can think of so many times our plans have changed before they even start. We recently were heading up north to do a Costco run and Ryan’s phone rang. A death. We had just passed an exit, so we had to drive into Nephi, grab lunch quick, and turn around so Ryan could go help this family. The kids and I headed back up to do the Costco run without him. There was the time we had left the kids with Ryan’s parents for the weekend and we had planned to go to a movie. We were at Krispy Kreme getting donuts when the phone rang. A death we had been told would happen in 24hrs or so happened earlier than expected. No movie. Or Ryan missing the birth of our youngest because he was in California burying someone and I went into labor 5 weeks early. It’s hard to try and adjust and to be honest, I still sometimes struggle with plans changing at the drop of a hat.

I am not involved in the day-to-day at the mortuary. I help with more behind-the-scenes things; I run errands, answer phones, sometimes do hair or makeup. But that is pretty much it for my involvement with the mortuary. I have helped with a funeral maybe once? I’m not much help, so Ryan has a few people that are good enough to help him out. People often assume that I am a funeral director too, but I did not go to school for that and I am not licensed. I am just the wife of the funeral director (ha).

If you know me in real life, I have probably told you stories of what my life is like. And you also know that I tend to tell those stories with a lot of humor. I like to think I’m pretty funny! Probably my favorite story that highlights how different our life is the day I went through the Chevron drive-thru. For this story it’s important to note that I drive a 12 passenger van. It serves two purposes: the first being that it fits all 9 of us and the second is that it allows us to take work with us when necessary. So I had gone to Chevron to pick up my daily dose of caffeine and I was in the drive-thru. They took my order and then one of the workers asked me why I drive such a big van. I explained that I have a lot of kids….and that sometimes I haul bodies too. Both the women were shocked and I forgot that they didn’t know me or Ryan! I had to backpedal and explain that I’m not taking people out or doing anything illegal, my husband is a mortician and we sometimes all go with him when he works.*Facepalm* That is what I get for just speaking so freely. It is so normal for us to be driving to the crematory or the coroner’s office, with a body, that I don’t even think about it anymore. It’s just part of our life.

So I guess to finish this off, I want to say that in my completely unbiased opinion Ryan is a great funeral director. I get to see the hard work, the care he puts into everything he does. I hope in reading this that you got to know us a little and maybe had a laugh too. As always, leave any comments or questions and share this blog with your friends and family!

The Friendly Mortician # 5

olpinstevensfuneralhome@gmail.com (Ryan ) — Tue, 31 Jan 2023 18:09:34 GMT

Mortuary Prices

One question I get a lot is how much do funerals or cremations cost. My answer is that depends. In this blog I won’t answer this specifically or even generally, but I hope you will be more informed and able to make the right choices for you or your family.

Costs very greatly depending on the type of service, casket, vault, headstone, flowers, cemetery and numerous other items. Costs even can vary greatly between funeral homes, from the super expensive to the discount. Discount funeral homes usually make their money on doing a high volume of business with as little as overhead as possible. They are usually located in a warehouse or store front, have older vehicles, and not as many employees as they should have. One common practice I do see a lot with discount, and sometimes expensive, funeral homes is that they will tell you a price to get you in the door, but the price that was quoted was for an individual service item and not everything that is needed. In our central Utah area there are some funeral homes that I would put in the expensive category; the rest of the funeral homes I would consider the middle of the road as far as pricing goes.

I was talking with a couple from the Salt Lake area; they were telling me about their experience in getting a funeral plan. They said once a week for a few months, they visited all the funeral homes in their area and asked about funeral plans. They went to the super expensive funeral homes, down to the discount funeral homes. They ended up choosing a funeral home based on how they were treated and where they felt they got the best value . This funeral home was not the most expensive, but was probably more than the average cost in their area. My thought when I heard this is they did it right. You chose a funeral home that was best for you, and not based solely on price or who has the better name.

One of my goals when I am serving families is that I want them to feel they got a good value. I received a compliment the other day that really stood out to me. They said thank you for making us feel like family, you weren’t just a person there doing the funeral it felt like a family member helping us with everything. That is what I try to do.

To me the value of the funeral service, casket, flowers, headstone, ect. is not so much in the costs of things but did it help bring you closer, did it make dealing with the loss a little bit easier. My mortuary may not be the cheapest or the most expensive with the newest, best stuff, but I truly feel that I offer the best value. I will do my best to treat you as family and give you the service you want.

All this being said, the FTC (Federal Trade Commission) regulates funeral home price lists and how they are to be laid out. Which in my opinion unless you know what you're looking at it, can be kind of confusing. I prefer to talk on phone or sit down with a family to discuss costs, mainly to figure out exactly what you want or need so that I can give your family the best Value .

The Friendly Mortician #4

Sat, 31 Dec 2022 22:02:43 GMT

Funeral Plan

2022 has come and gone, and as we start this new year we think about our goals and resolutions. One of the goals my wife and I are planning this year is being more prepared by building up our food storage. How can you be more prepared when it comes to the funeral industry?

Get a Funeral plan. What is a funeral plan? This would be a very long and boring post if I went into all the details of funeral plan, but I will try to just touch on the basics.

A Funeral plan is a prepaid funeral or cremation service through the mortuary. This money is ether held in a trust controlled by the mortuary or by an insurance company. Trusts tend to benefit the mortuary a little more, while the insurance company will have more benefits for the person. That is why I only use an insurance company to hold the money.

How much does it cost? It costs the same as if you were to plan a funeral today. It can be paid in full or on a monthly payment plan. The cost of a funeral or cremation can vary greatly based on the services and merchandise you chose.

What are the benefits?

It guarantees the cost of the service, casket, vault and other merchandise items against inflation.
It protects the money from Medicaid, which will make you cash out life insurance policies with a cash value over Medicaid’s limits.
One of my favorite benefits is that it makes it so much easier when I have to sit down with a family and all the major decisions have already been made and it’s paid for.

Excuses I get for why people don’t get one:

Costs too much - Funeral plans are a lot of money, but I promise that funeral costs are not getting any cheaper anytime soon.
I already have life insurance - Great! I still recommend preplanning if you can. It will be so much easier down the road for your family.
My favorite excuse is “I am going to be resurrected”.

What if I move? - As long as you are in Utah or plan on coming back to Utah, I can still handle it. You can take a plan into the local mortuary and ask if they will guarantee the funeral plan.

I already have a funeral plan with a different mortuary can you handle it? - Yes. Bring me your funeral plan. They are easy to transfer and I will fully guarantee it as if I wrote it.

If you have a questions about funeral plans that I didn’t cover or you would like to consider getting one for yourself or a loved one, please give me a call or email me.

The Friendly Mortician #3

Tue, 29 Nov 2022 21:16:29 GMT

Common Questions or Statements

As I sit here thinking about what to write for this month’s blog, I'm pondering all the questions and statements I get from people. Here are the more common ones: How did you become a Funeral Director?; I couldn’t do your job; have you ever seen a dead person move?; do their fingernails and hair grow?; people are just dying to meet you; do you have lots of spiritual experiences? I know there are more, but if there is something that you are wondering about or a funeral joke that you don’t think I have heard, please leave me a comment.

"How did you become a Funeral Director?" I covered this in my 2 ^nd blog post. Go check it out if you haven’t already.

" I couldn’t do your job." I hear this statement a lot, probably at most of the funerals I do. For most I think it is all the emotions from the funeral. I think they don’t want to be around the sadness all the time. For others, I think it is the thought of being around dead bodies all the time. For me, I look at it a little differently. When most families experience a loss, I hear people ask them "what can I do to help?" Besides a meal or just being there for them, there is not much they can do to help. I get to help. While it may be sad and emotional, I enjoy getting the opportunity to help the family through the funeral process.

"Have you ever seen a dead body move or sit up?" NO! I have been told so many stories about how someone heard from someone else about a body moving at a funeral. I am sure these are just stories.

"Do their fingernails and hair grow?" No. The skin dehydrates, which gives the appearance that the hair and fingernails have grown.

"People are just dying to meet you!" Yes, Yes they are but not as many as I’d like. This is the most common funeral joke I hear and that is my usual response. If you have a funeral joke you don’t think I heard, please leave me a comment or send me a message. I'd love to hear it!

"You must have lots of spiritual experiences." I think I get this one because they say that the person's spirit hangs around the body for a short time. My answer: yes and no. Probably not as many as you think I do. A lot of the time I am so busy getting everything ready for the person’s funeral, I am not paying attention to feeling the spirit. Yes there are a lot of times when I feel the presence of others beyond the veil. I notice it when I am embalming, but mostly when I get to dress the deceased when I am alone. Just as when a family comes to dress their loved one, that is usually a spiritual experience for that family and a time for healing.

Thanks for Reading, if you would like to see more of this leave a like on Facebook or a comment down below.

The Friendly Mortician #2

Mon, 07 Nov 2022 15:36:23 GMT

Introduction

I will start at the beginning. For those that don’t know me, I am Ryan T. Stevens a first generation funeral director. My parents are Dennis and Cheri Stevens and my grandparents are Paul and Greta Stevens who still live in Fillmore. I was raised in Fillmore until I was 11, then my father, who was in the National Guard, got transferred to Spanish Fork. I graduated from Spanish Fork High School in 2001. I served a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints in the Indianapolis, Indiana Mission. That is where I had my first exposure to the funeral industry.

I was serving in the small town of Rochester, Indiana when a member of the church passed away. I was invited to help dress the man who passed and also speak at his funeral. During the dressing, I just remember thinking how it didn’t bother me at all being around this dead person, all while my companion was curled up in a ball in the corner of the room. I really enjoyed that experience. The next day I got to speak at his funeral. After I spoke, the daughter of the deceased got up to speak; she smiled and testified that what I said is true. I know I had help from above, but that feeling of truly helping someone through one of the most difficult times in their life stuck with me.

When I got home I knew I wanted a job where I could really help people. So, I thought doctors get to help people. I took pre-med classes from UVU. After one semester I knew I needed to figure something else out. I wasn’t getting into medical school with my grades and I did not like school enough to keep going for 8 more years. At the time I was working for the Department of Workforce services. I had a lot of career information at my fingertips, as that was what I was helping others do; find jobs or careers. I read an article about a funeral director and what he enjoyed about his job. After reading that I knew that is what I wanted to do.

I tried for many months to get a job at a funeral home. It didn’t work out, so I just jumped in with two feet and went to mortuary science school in Cypress, California. While I was there I met my beautiful wife Michelle. We got married in August of 2006. I graduated with my Associates of Mortuary Science in December 2006. We moved to Mesquite, Nevada to work at Virgin Valley Mortuary in January 2007.

Some of the great things to come out of that move was that I got to work with some really good funeral directors; Brian Rebman and Tyson Smith. They both taught me almost everything it takes to take care of the deceased and to run a mortuary. We also had our two oldest children there, Emily and Kyle.

After two and half years I was looking for a change. About that time I met Jim Graff. He was one of the owners of Southern Utah Mortuary. As we talked, he found out I was from Fillmore and told me that their Fillmore mortuary was for sale.

In January of 2010 I was able to purchase the Olpin Funeral Home and renamed it Olpin Stevens Funeral Home. In 2012 we opened a new location in Delta to better serve the community there. In 2019 we purchased and remodeled a new location in Delta. Two years ago, in 2020, we bought a 1939 Packard Hearse to restore to use as our main hearse. We had five more girls since moving to Fillmore: Katie, Gracie, Haisley, Holland, and Tinsley. We have loved serving the families in the Delta and Fillmore communities and we hope to continue to do so for many years to come.

Please leave a comment or ask questions if you have them. I would like to make this a good and fun experience for all. I hope to do this every month so feedback would be much appreciated.

The Friendly Mortician

Tue, 01 Nov 2022 18:46:29 GMT

I'd Like to start a blog

I’m starting a blog for the funeral home. It's something I have wanted to do for a long time. I work in a profession that is interesting to some, scary to other and then there are those that think I am weird for wanting to do what I do. I am hoping to use this blog as a way to dispel any myths, answer any questions you may have, connect with the community and share my personal feelings on the funeral industry. Some of the Things I'd like to blog about are:

Introduction about my self (I will publish Nov. 7 next Monday)
Funeral Plans, different types pros and cons
The 1939 Packard that we are restoring
Importance of funerals
Any topics that you as readers want my opinion on.

Please leave a comment or ask questions if you have them. I would like to make this a good and fun experience for all. I hope to do this every month so feedback would be much appreciated.